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Oct. 9th, 2012 | 09:09 am

I'm scared and I don't know of what. Just that I'm scared and staying at home, away from everyone sounds like a good plan. =[

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The Feeling of Failure.

Apr. 4th, 2012 | 01:05 pm

I can't shake this fact that all I'm doing is fucking up. No matter how much effort, or what I do, it's still wrong.

Being here sucks. All that happens is my mom going ape shit and yelling at me. I leave the house, she gets mad. Asks me why I didn't come home. FUCK I stay home! And she gets mad, asks me why I don't go out and enjoy my life.

This is fucking bullshit. All the women around me are nuts.

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Random Productivity

Mar. 7th, 2012 | 06:24 pm

Today has been a long one. I went to San Francisco this morning, to start my day. My mom and I went to work on my dual citizenship documents. So I don't have to bring my dual paperwork anymore. I'll just show my passport and be done with it. It'll make going back to the Philippines that much easier. :D

After that quick trip to SF, we drove down to Union City, to visit Ima. Happy birthday Ima. Grabe, it's been 9 years since you left us. I hadn't realized it's been that long. What sucks is, there's probably going to a big gather of my family next year for her 100th birthday. (She died on her birthday.) And, guess who'll be back in the Philippines by then? :D

It's ok though. I don't need a big gathering of people I don't really like to remember how great of a grandma she was. Almost everyday, I remind myself.

After that, Nay and I drove around Union City. So... apparently Nanay was hungry, since all she kept mentioning was that I must have been hungry and we should eat soon. I wasn't hungry at all, to be honest. A big bowl of cereal this morning made sure of that. But we ate anyway.

Fuck. I should have taken pictures. So I could show them to you. :D

It was good and tasty. Had some stir fried shrimp, and crunchy noodle stir fry. The drive back was quick, and we stopped by my tita's for a visit. I just passed out.

After a few hours, when I wake up, Nanay is saying we should drive to LA.

So, here I am. All packed and trying to get some rest for the 8+ hour drive. Fuck yes.

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Someday, Just Not Today

Feb. 27th, 2012 | 12:31 am

Remember, when I said that there will be a decently long post here? Yeah, chances are, it isn't today. Though, to my amazement, this is entry is already longer than I planned. So let's jump right in with an update?

Today was nothing. When I woke up, there was a plan in mind to go to Fremont and give Rick his garage opener. For the longest time, I kept saying to myself "Fremont is too far" but after commuting in the Philippines; an hour isn't bad at all. I'm willing to make the drive. So long as I have the time. With this realization, my efforts to be in the South Bay will be more often.
And to be honest, it's always nice seeing them. Fremont, the city, my friends, the enviroment, it's all so much different from anything else that I've encountered in my life. There, everything feels... right. Like I can just be me. It's a place where I belong.

And that's a nice feeling. Next time, steps will be taken to ensure maximum enjoyment. Cash for whatever. A change of clothes in the event of bar hopping / clubbing. My PS3; so we can just opt to just chill at Rick's house. And some weed, of course. Rick's plugs are good, but slow. Bringing my own stash fixes that problem.

Thinking about going to Fremont makes me want to go, like right now. But it's 12 am and most people are sleeping. Unlike me, people aren't on vacation. They work, and not a job at their parent's company. Real, honest, hardworking jobs. :D

And if you're reading this, know that I'm missing you. I write this mainly for your benefit. Since, after all, you might be my only reader.

Minamahal kita. Maskin kung hindi halata. Mahal pa rin kita

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Motivation? Don't Think So

Feb. 25th, 2012 | 03:08 pm

Earlier, I was talking about how I was getting lazy to be productive. Well, now, there's none what so ever. Work isn't enjoyable. Leaving my bed doesn't sound fun. Pants wearing? A chore.


Hopefully, when I get unlazy, there will be a decent post here. Hopefully.

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(no subject)

Feb. 22nd, 2012 | 06:43 am

Today marks the beginning of the end of my vacation. This is my half way point. So I gotta make it count.

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laziness kick

Feb. 16th, 2012 | 08:07 pm

Since being back, there have been so many great things for me to do! Hobbies and recreation that I had to shelve because of school. Now that everything is so readily available, studying and all around productivity are going astray. Granted, there are still a bunch of great things I'm finishing; none of them were on a "things to do list" I made before leaving the Philippines.

Either way, I'm going to enjoy my stay here. Live life to the fullest and be happy. Oh and there may have been rumors of my going to Hungary, were misinformed. If there's a chance in hell, that my ass will see European soil, I'll be in jolly England, or Italy. :D

But chances are, if I do travel, I'll be in Hawaii. There's some nice discounts to Hawaii, and passing them up seems stupid to do. And the fact that yours truly has never been? Yay me. :D

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(no subject)

Feb. 15th, 2012 | 09:51 pm

To the valentine like any other; alone and wishing. And to a monthsary that could have been.

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(no subject)

Jan. 26th, 2012 | 10:24 pm

I've come to the realization that... Well, in so many words, I don't have a best friend anymore. My best friend. A partner in crime. My #2. He always knew what was best; yet also knew how to make it worse.

And to think, all it took were a few mistakes. And yet they are still here, unfixed. I miss my best friend. I miss being his friend more than anything.

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(no subject)

Jan. 21st, 2012 | 02:44 am

All I want to do is cry. Cry and fit and hate my life. But after seeing what this world has become, what my life has in store for me; crying isn't an option. You lose, you learn, then you move on. Having trouble with the last two. :D I just keep losing. Not learning anything. And lingering? Yeah, I'm good at that.

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