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The fear of moving forward

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Mar. 4th, 2013 | 12:56 am

Grief has limits, whereas apprehension has none. For we grieve only for what we know has happened, but we fear all that possibly may happen.

-Pliny the Elder

I've come to find that the more you try to hold on to something from your past, all that ends up happening is disappointment and losing the chance for something new to enter your life.

But frankly, I'm not keen on change. Especially right now. I said it in my last post, but I'll say it again. Change is uncomfortable for me. And going through a few things, change is the last thing I'd like to see. But of course, change is inevitable. It's all inevitable. And that's what scares me most. I feel like I'm on some ride, some roller coaster, that I did not wish to be on in the first place.

Being here, stuck in the seat, it just gives me apprehension. I never wanted to be here in the first place, I'm having trouble adjusting to it. Like a good example of all these changes I'm not comfortable with. G4; a gaming network is closing down. It's being revamped into the Esquire network. All the tech and gaming sections of G4 (which is a shit ton load of content) is going to be taken out.

I honestly don't know why this change in some random network is affecting me so much. Maybe it's just more proof that I have to grow up. Or at the very least, move forward. I gotta tell you though, my feet feel like bricks. And taking that step forward, well it scares the shit out of me. As do a lot more things, I've noticed...

I really wish everything will turn out ok. I'm scared as shit, and I don't even know of what.

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